Sunday, November 8, 2009

Suicide


A friend of mine over-dosed today in a successful suicide. My daughters (who read this blog) will remember Jim M. who SCUBA'd with me off my boat, Defiant (SeaRay 28) many times.

I can't get into Jim's mind any more than I can to other friends I've lost to suicide over the years. The instant thought is always, why didn't they come to me? They met their end alone. Then again, had I been there, they wouldn't have met their end at all.

I have worked in bainful professions over the years that are barbed and thorned by problems that plague those who pursue them. Sometimes problems press people to the breaking point and nobody knows where that is until they reach it.  Jim M. was different. He wasn't in the goat-rope government and never served in the military. He was almost like a son to me who I watched grow into respectable adulthood. He married, had three children and a successful job. The economic collapse hit him hard and I know there was stress in the marriage because of it. There was family money - quite a bit of it - and I don't know why he didn't turn to his parents. They were always very generous with their kids.

Maybe it wasn't one of the usual things.

Tonight I'm hurting because he's gone, he never said goodbye, and if he would have, I'd have run to where he was and helped him in any way under the Sun. In the last photo he sent me, he was riding on his ATC with his son in his lap.


RIP Jim M.

12 comments:

darlin said...

LL I am so sorry to hear of your loss of a dear friend. May God be with and bless his family and friends through this very difficult time.

Coffeypot said...

Sorry, LL. It is a thing we are never prepared for and rarely see coming. I had to face it a couple of times, the last one a year ago with my old best friend from the Navy. My virtual arm is around you shoulder, bud.

Opus #6 said...

Oh My GOSH! I'm SO SO sorry!!!! This is terrible. :-(

Julie said...

Sorry to hear about the loss of your good friend.

WoFat said...

Sorry about your friend. His reasons were his own.

VL said...

I'm sorry you lost a friend LL.

Xmichra said...

sorry to hear of your loss LL. ((hugs))

Lessons on the English Longsword said...

Deepest condolences, my friend.

-B.

Lessons on the English Longsword said...

Deepest condolences, my friend.

-B.

LSP said...

I'm so sorry, may he rest in peace.

Azra said...

Sorry to hear about your loss. Hope he's in a better place.

Susannah said...

I am so sorry to read this post. I'm sorry that you've lost this friend & that you are hurting, and that you have all of those unanswered questions. I pray that you will find peace, new friend.

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