Suicide

A friend of mine over-dosed today in a successful suicide. My daughters (who read this blog) will remember Jim M. who SCUBA'd with me off my boat, Defiant (SeaRay 28) many times.

I can't get into Jim's mind any more than I can to other friends I've lost to suicide over the years. The instant thought is always, why didn't they come to me? They met their end alone. Then again, had I been there, they wouldn't have met their end at all.

I have worked in bainful professions over the years that are barbed and thorned by problems that plague those who pursue them. Sometimes problems press people to the breaking point and nobody knows where that is until they reach it.  Jim M. was different. He wasn't in the goat-rope government and never served in the military. He was almost like a son to me who I watched grow into respectable adulthood. He married, had three children and a successful job. The economic collapse hit him hard and I know there was stress in the marriage because of it. There was family money - quite a bit of it - and I don't know why he didn't turn to his parents. They were always very generous with their kids.

Maybe it wasn't one of the usual things.

Tonight I'm hurting because he's gone, he never said goodbye, and if he would have, I'd have run to where he was and helped him in any way under the Sun. In the last photo he sent me, he was riding on his ATC with his son in his lap.

RIP Jim M.