Thursday, November 28, 2013

Car Talk

Have you ever wondered what cars would say if they could talk? 

A Prius boasts to a Bugatti Veyron.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Note on the Door

If you've never watched the television series Doctor Who (BBC), you won't get it.

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Cool Products

Idiots ruin everything. I say leave the stuff out there and let the chips fall where they may. The more we impede natural selection, the worse this will get. In a really imperfect world the Darwin Awards would have to be suspended and who wants to see that happen?


Summer Saturdays were never the same once Jarts 
were taken off the market back in 1988. The 
Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) 
banned the sale of the metal-tipped lawn darts after 
numerous head, eye, and ear injuries, especially in 
children. Some companies have skirted the ban 
by selling the metal tips and plastic fins separately. 


For those trying to kill a few hours at work, Buckyballs 
and Buckycubes have been a classic companion (and they're 
great for making sculptures for the refrigerator). If ingested, 
however, the tiny magnet balls will snap together (as magnets 
do), often pinching intestines and requiring surgical removal. 
The ban moved into effect in 2010, but the CPSC is 
currently pursuing a stop-sale order against Maxfield 
& Oberton, since the Bucky products are still being sold.


Several instances of small children unzipping the bags, 
climbing inside, and inhaling the tiny pellets were 
reported, with life-ending repercussions. Millions of free-
zipping bean bags were immediately taken off the market 
in 1994. As a result of the recall, some manufacturers 
began making double-stitched and double-zippered 
bags, with a safety lock too. 


Throwing yourself onto a yellow strip of plastic with 
(hopefully) just enough water to keep you slipping and 
sliding along—what could go wrong? 

If you're ever played on a Slip 'N Slide, you probably know 
already: Some people slid off the slide and onto concrete. 
Sometimes people didn't even make it that far, expecting 
a slip and a slide only to stop abruptly, resulting in some 
pretty serious spinal cord injuries. 


For reasons including unexpected water-tank projections 
and bystander injuries, several water-rocket manufacturers 
such as Hasbro were forced to recall about 230,000 of the 
famed toy in 2004. 

Descending rockets were also known to come back and hit 
people in the head.

But when I was a kid, there was simply NOTHING 
cooler than a water rocket. They are designed to be 
fired into the air but as a young and impressionable boy, 
my friends and I used to fire them at each other and require 
absolute discipline, standing like a statue. A flinch made 
you a coward.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Far Away Galaxy

Halloween has passed, but here are some photos of people who dressed up their dogs as Star Wars characters.

Not a Star Wars dog, but might make the next installment in the franchise with no make-up required (mug shot).

Lovin' life! Free chow in the gray bar hotel.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Love is a Battlefield

Rich Man Buys House Next to Ex-Wife, Erects Giant Middle Finger Outside

by Neetzan Zimmerman
Nov. 15, 2013

A Michigan man has reportedly gone to Internet-ready lengths in order to troll his ex-wife with a daily reminder of his feelings towards her.

According to a person claiming to be the ex-wife's daughter, the crazy-wealthy Bloomfield Hills man, identified only as "Alan," allegedly purchased the house next door to his ex, and proceeded to move in with his new girlfriend Tiffany.

He then went a step further and purchased an expensive bronze statue of a middle finger, which he placed on the back porch and aimed at his ex-wife's house.

As if that weren't quite enough passive aggression, Alan ensured the statue was visible 24/7 by shining a spotlight on it after dark.

"Alan and Tiffany are the best neighbors," tweeted Lenka Tuohy, "but ew who does that lololol."

Apparently the statue has had the unintended effect of pissing Tuohy off as well.

"[I]ts hard for me to enjoy my baths now because my fav tub is in my moms bathroom which faces out towards tif and alans house," she wrote, adding a frowny-face emoticon.

When a friend pointed out that Alan's gesture was making him "look like an idiot," Tuohy concurred: "Like lol someone's not over my momma!"

Monday, November 18, 2013

From the Police Blotter

(Waukesha, Wisconsin Police Department Report)

I'll summarize the link for you.

Benjamin Duddles, 41, of Waukesha, Wisconsin dialed police around 4:20 AM to say that he wanted “a female removed from his bed,” adding that he was not sure “how she got into his apartment.”

When the police arrived, Duddles reported that he had let the woman into his home and she “just went into his bed and fell asleep.” The woman, Duddles complained, (as recounted by the reporting officer, was “now snoring like a train and he wants her out.”

The officers conducted their investigation, and ascertained from Duddles that they “drank together, had relations and she fell asleep.”

After repairing to his living room, Duddles returned to his bedroom and could not roust the snoring woman, “so he called police."

The police officers were able to arouse the woman (not identified by name in the report) and determined that she was both healthy and not in any sort of distress.

The officers advised Duddles that a snoring woman in his bed was not a police matter since he had invited her into his home. Duddles was “provided the comfort of his couch for the evening” and directed to “work out the ‘issue’ in the morning.”

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Dear Diary

I'm not a cat lover. I don't own a cat and a cat doesn't own me. However, if a cat ever had a diary, this is surely the context of its content.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

1000 words

Police mug shots tell a lot about the job that the police do and the job that the criminals do (keeping the police employed). Some time ago there was a mug shot contest at the Anaheim, California Police Department where officers would vote on the best mugshot of the week on any given week and a pool. If you arrested somebody who was selected by acclaim, you'd usually win about twenty dollars. Today, I'm sure that's no longer politically correct.

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