Saturday, November 23, 2013

Cool Products

Idiots ruin everything. I say leave the stuff out there and let the chips fall where they may. The more we impede natural selection, the worse this will get. In a really imperfect world the Darwin Awards would have to be suspended and who wants to see that happen?


Summer Saturdays were never the same once Jarts 
were taken off the market back in 1988. The 
Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) 
banned the sale of the metal-tipped lawn darts after 
numerous head, eye, and ear injuries, especially in 
children. Some companies have skirted the ban 
by selling the metal tips and plastic fins separately. 


For those trying to kill a few hours at work, Buckyballs 
and Buckycubes have been a classic companion (and they're 
great for making sculptures for the refrigerator). If ingested, 
however, the tiny magnet balls will snap together (as magnets 
do), often pinching intestines and requiring surgical removal. 
The ban moved into effect in 2010, but the CPSC is 
currently pursuing a stop-sale order against Maxfield 
& Oberton, since the Bucky products are still being sold.


Several instances of small children unzipping the bags, 
climbing inside, and inhaling the tiny pellets were 
reported, with life-ending repercussions. Millions of free-
zipping bean bags were immediately taken off the market 
in 1994. As a result of the recall, some manufacturers 
began making double-stitched and double-zippered 
bags, with a safety lock too. 


Throwing yourself onto a yellow strip of plastic with 
(hopefully) just enough water to keep you slipping and 
sliding along—what could go wrong? 

If you're ever played on a Slip 'N Slide, you probably know 
already: Some people slid off the slide and onto concrete. 
Sometimes people didn't even make it that far, expecting 
a slip and a slide only to stop abruptly, resulting in some 
pretty serious spinal cord injuries. 


For reasons including unexpected water-tank projections 
and bystander injuries, several water-rocket manufacturers 
such as Hasbro were forced to recall about 230,000 of the 
famed toy in 2004. 

Descending rockets were also known to come back and hit 
people in the head.

But when I was a kid, there was simply NOTHING 
cooler than a water rocket. They are designed to be 
fired into the air but as a young and impressionable boy, 
my friends and I used to fire them at each other and require 
absolute discipline, standing like a statue. A flinch made 
you a coward.


Race Bannon said...

When the Star Wars sequel Empire Strikes Back action figures came out, you could send away (with enough proof of purchase seals collected) for a Boba Fett that launched a missile! the time the figures were made, the small plastic launching missile was inoperable - CHILDREN COULD SWALLOW IT! Is it any wonder we were allowed to play with anything!

LL said...

What fun is a Boba Fett that doesn't launch a missile? I would have refused to play with it as a child.

WoFat said...

Lawn Darts??????????????? Who can miss a lawn?

LL said...

I liked throwing them, WoFat. I do understand that more than a few ended up getting embedded in a kid's head (somewhere distant in the country or a different part of town).

Brighid said...

LOL, played with most of those and survived. Not nearly as much fun as flying out of the hayloft (me), Mexican rockets(my brother) or the attempts to stick a hatchet in your brother (the cowman).

LL said...

Brighid - all of that builds character.

Opus #6 said...

It is amazing we survived at all, according to progressives. Think of all the cool park toys we used to have as kids as well.

LL said...

I know that the monkey bars are forbidden all children. I think that tetherball is on the list too. Everything that's fun is banned.

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