Saturday, August 30, 2014

Shopping on Amazon

It's amazing what you can buy on Amazon. I was there punching in "canned salted hedgehog" and this is what popped up. Apparently they don't stock hedgehog but unicorns are clearly the next best thing.


Apparently you can't pick your favorite part of unicorn as the can is simply generic 'meat'.


Searching for bottle opener brought this gem.


Who wouldn't be proud to have this on the wall of the den next to all of the dead animal heads? The molded plastic isn't like a genuine dead deer's butt, however it's an idea for your next taxidermist adventure.


"Gift for lady that has everything" is a strange search term and here's what Amazon recommends for that special person.


Nothing says love like a plastic yodeling pickle. I'm torn between the concept of the yodeling pickle as a mere novelty item and the pickle as a marital aid. Being a guy, I'm woefully unable to comment further on this special gift.



18 comments:

Coffeypot said...

Well you have certainly helped me out and got me started on my Christmas list. Thanks!

LL said...

I view this blog as a service to mankind. Thanks for validating that, John Coffey.

jenny said...

*speechless*

LL said...

Jenny -- really? Speechless, YOU?

jenny said...

I know. Exactly. But you've done it-- you've gone and done what no man has ever managed to do.

jenny said...

See? I still can't even respond to this post. I can only respond to your reply.

LL said...

Which of these would make the best Christmas gift? Which would you most like to find under the tree in the morning?

WoFat said...

Given the variety of food products on the market, it is obviously true that some people will buy ANYTHING.

LL said...

I've seen cans of Los Angeles smog on sale at tourist traps. Tourists buy them. All you need to do if you're homesick for LA is to rap your lips around the exhaust pipe of any running car. You needn't buy the can.

jenny said...

I'm still just so speechless. I'm so speechless at this blog post that I have to actually speak about being speechless.

P.S. When you die, the hedgehogs just might salt and can you. So beware...

LL said...

Being salted and canned post sentient existence would be preferable to some other fates. I don't know if you're familiar with the concept of a Tibetan 'sky burial" where they feed your carcass to vultures who crap you out over the landscape and use you for guano...being canned and salted is a really cool option when you throw it into the context of things.

Brighid said...


That can opener is butt ugly...just say'n... in a gracious granny voice...

LL said...

Brighid - sure, but it will open a bottle of beer. Absent that, you need a "buck tooth" guy or gal around.

Brighid said...

There are a thousand ways to open a bottle, teef are too darn expensive to use.

Brighid said...

I love Amazon and am in total awe of how fast they can deliver a pickle.

LL said...

Brighid - I have no store bought teeth, but if I did, I think that I'd go for the Russian stainless steel teeth. Why? (I heard you ask)

(1) They look sinister. Ever since the bad guy actor had them in the James Bond movies, I thought - that's for me.

(2) You don't need a steak knife anymore.

Brighid said...

May make one look scary (scarier) alright, seems like it would be a bit off putting for the ladies.

LL said...

Only a certain class of ladies. You'll note that the "Jaws" character in the James Bond films eventually found love in the form of a blonde bombshell. Of course that's art, but life imitates it.

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