"Rat Tail" hair style
Rebel Flag t-shirt (does not apply to those living in the South)
Dirty Diaper left in parking lot (or shopping cart)
Chid over 5 years of age drinking from a baby bottle
Someone giving away kittens
Woman with hair curlers
Someone with an eye patch
Obese Person using a Scooter
White girl with three or more multi-racial children under age 4
Someone buying beer and diapers (only)
Unattended child/children crying
Someone using an oxygen tank
Frozen food left to thaw in a random aisle
Teardrop Tattoo
Bearded Woman
Pregnant Woman with visible "Tramp Stamp" Tattoo
Man under 30 without any teeth
Entire family wearing NASCAR apparel.
I have other WalMart games that I play that I don't recommend for the faint of heart:
(1) The Stalker - some women show up at WalMart dressed to the nines. Hooker clothes, spike heels, full make-up, hoochie hair. I have no idea why a woman would show up at WalMart looking like that. They obviously are crying out for attention. I oblige in my own humble way: I push my shopping cart around behind them and smile. They become nervous - sometimes they become verbally aggressive. I smile. It's really a lot of fun.
(2) The Mad Dog - gang members frequent WalMart. I'm not sure why, but they do. Frequently I'm accused of "looking at them". I bring sunglasses with me and put them on when that happens and am now looking at them from behind the shades. It's the standard "Scary Larry" look, perfected over years of patient practice. The gang members get very agitated. I can draw fire and re-holster before they can get a round off (relax, I'm a professional).
Often I do this in the presence of witnesses (my children) to the extent that they're no longer all that comfortable going into WalMart with me. The one they seem to hate the most is when I do "the Elephant". (not described here) I'm not fond of WalMart but have found a way to make my shopping experience more enjoyable at America's largest retailer.
Opus#6 might want to loan me her boys to provide them WalMart shopping training...
Baby Griffin will become an expert at this as he grows up.
