How did you spend your twenties?

I don't know whether or not the next US Presidential election will be between Governor Rick Perry (R-TX) and President Barack Obama or not. If character counts, the Zig Zag Man won't be re-elected.

(h/t WoFat)

Life Goes On (report from the West Coast)

The Eastern Seaboard (US) is preparing to be swept out to sea by Hurricane Irene and it's dominating the news. Christian media reports that it's God's wrath. Al Gore says that it's an inconvenient truth.

Meanwhile, on the West Coast, we're preparing for another perfect day to BBQ and maybe head down to the beach to surf or watch the surfers, whatever your preference. It's supposed to be over 100 (F) today, which means very little, because it's August.

So, while people on the East Coast crowd into markets to buy up all of the bottled water and canned food that they can find...

We're making do as best we can, throwing shrimp on the BBQ and just hanging out.

Missing Cat (?)

Submitted from Southern California for your information. If your cat is missing, they found him somewhere on Sunset Blvd. (in Los Angeles)...

Environmentally Incorrect

Submitted for your consideration:

Hail Baby

There's a baby living in my house. You read it on previous blogging. The greatest sin in a home with a baby present is: Waking up the baby!

Babies wield tremendous influence, disproportionate to their size. I recalled a Married with Children episode where the actors all 'did their hail baby' and thought that it might serve as a blog about the condition of people with a new baby in the house.

TRANSCRIPT: Married With Children

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LOOKING FOR A DESK IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES 

Regular Cast: 

 Al Bundy...................Ed O'Neill 

Peg Bundy..................Katey Sagal 

Marcy D'Arcy...............Amanda Bearse 

Kelly Bundy................Christina Applegate 

Bud Bundy..................David Faustino 

ACT ONE SCENE ONE A "baby meeting" in the kitchen Closeup on Peggy 

PEGGY Hear-he, hear-he. I am now officially opening the weekly Bundy baby meeting, which we all look forward to so much. [chuckles] We see that the other three Bundys are asleep with their heads on the kitchen table. 

PEGGY [calling out] Dinner time! Al and Bud wake with a start. 

PEGGY Just kidding. [laughs] 

AL I love you, Peg. 

 

PEGGY Aw. 

AL Just kidding. 

PEGGY That was your daddy. I know he doesn't sound like much, but ooh, he brings in the big bucks. [to others] Now we shall begin with the traditional salutation. Al and Bud get up.  

AL & BUD [with a complete lack of enthusiasm] Hail baby. They sit back down. 

BUD [sarcastically] I'm truly honored. Bud takes Kelly's notepad and gets up. 

BUD Hail baby. [reading out loud] "I can no longer write down the insane bellowing of what used to be my mother". [becoming interested] "This baby is a curse to us all. Wait, I'm supposed to rise and give a 'hail baby'. There, I've done it. I feel cheaper than I've ever felt, and that's saying something". Peggy snatches the notebook from Bud's hands and hits Kelly in the head with it. Kelly wakes up. 

PEGGY And now we will hear from the treasurer. Al clears his throat and gets up. 

AL According to my research, it takes $780,000 to raise a baby from birth to college. Thankfully, since I sold a shoe last week, I am proud to anounce that we're now just short $780,000. Thank you very much. Al sits down, then gets up again. 

AL Hail baby. 

Swimming Pools (an evaluation)

I've never been a huge fan of swimming pools mainly because they're expensive to build, expensive to maintain and because I always end up paying the bills and doing a lot of the work. Yes, I know that makes me sound cheap and lazy. These days, I have the work done. (making me sound even lazier)

However there is an up-side to swimming pools. It draws the kids and the grandchildren to the house to hang out and play. Like the cheese in a trap. Add some BBQ hamburgers and it's a near certain thing that they'll come by.

I installed a removable pool fence (in background) for the sake of safety. The two-year olds can be crazy when water is near. Alyssa, like most children, is drawn to water and mud. Fortunately the pool doesn't have muddy water in it.

In the final analysis, the pool is worth it all.

Stork - down gear, down flaps, cut power, deploy drogue chute!

Baby Liam James Markee arrived in the usual way with love, fanfare and family. He weighs in at 7 lbs 10 oz, 20 in. and is very healthy.

Everybody took turns holding him (and hogging the baby), but that's ok. Babies can't get too much love. Emilie (above) seemed to bond to Liam right away as he found his thumb and sucked it.

Aunt Tania (notorious baby hog) made Liam cry... at least that's my story. And it provided an opportunity for me to get the baby back for myself for a few minutes.

It's very neat to be a grandpa (for the fourth time).

Stork in a Landing Pattern

We're on a two-day count down to the stork bringing Liam James Markee into the world. My daughter, Heather, is living with me while her husband, James, is serving his country in Afghanistan. We are going to video stream the newborn to him as soon as Heather is out of recovery and back to her room in the hospital maternity ward.

Half Life II

Half Life

The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between sleep and wakefulness when you can’t quite tell the difference between fantasy and reality. Just for one brief moment, you feel with your entire soul that the dream is real and that it really happened. 

What if it really happened, but it wasn’t merely your dream? What if you dreamed someone else’s reality? And they dreamed yours? And what if you felt as if you couldn't live without them - and if they couldn't live without you?

And what if you were part of an invasion fleet headed for their world with orders to kill that person?

(Morgan asked for more plot and conflict) 

The whole plot with story arcs is well laid out, I just don't want to put it on the Internet before I've completed the work.