Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Introspection


Some of you have been asking me to post a bio of myself. I simply cut and pasted from my facebook page. I think I covered all of the salient facts.



My lovemaking is detected with a seismograph; black cats fear to cross my path; any beach I am on instantly becomes clothing-optional; I can cook a ten minute egg in five minutes; sharks have a week dedicated to me; my blood smells like expensive cologne; Hugh Hefner asks for my cast-offs; when I look into the mirror, my reflection gives me a thumbs-up; whenever I go swimming, dolphins appear and swim with me; at museums, the curators invite me to touch the art; I wouldn't be afraid to show my feminine side--if I had one; I can speak German...in Spanish; I explored the Virgin Islands and when I left, they were just-the islands; I can order breakfast at any time of the day at McDonalds; on Halloween, the neighborhood kids bring me candy; I won the Tour de France but was disqualified for riding a unicycle; when I go to restaurants, the waiters tip me; my legend precedes me the way lighting precedes thunder.

My ego is only exceeded by my abject humility. In fact, my humility is humbling to most people.

7 comments:

WoFat said...

You are to be commended on your modesty. I'm proud of you.

Coffeypot said...

And you blow dry your hair behind the engine of a 747 and hammer your beard back into your cheek and bite them off.

Opus #6 said...

Another excellent post. I am humbled.

Xmichra said...

lmao... that was BRILLIANT! but you knew that already ;)

darlin said...

I feel honored that you allow me to post comments on your wall oh humble one.

AmandaFienPhotography said...

I'm so proud to call you my father right now...

LL said...

Amanda - darned straight you're proud to call yourself my offspring - and who wouldn't?

Think of it this way -- you had the perfect son (my grandson). Where did the perfect genes come from? Not from Tammy or Braden.... ;^)

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