Midnight Blogging

Yesterday, I celebrated my oldest daughter's birthday (I bought her an Apple i-Pad) and it was a cause for a family gathering. Now, I find myself unable to sleep so I thought that I'd post some of the more innane stuff that's floating around. However, you might be able to use these factoids if you are trying to impress the easily impressed with your knowledge of current trivia.

RIP Stewie

There are record books so that people with too much time on their hands can pretend to care about trivia. So it goes with Stewie, the world's longest cat. The cat was 48.5 inches (123.19 centimeters) in length from nose tip to tail tip but it's not around anymore. It died last week (5 Feb 2013). Stewie was a Maine Coon Cat. I'm not certain why this particular cat was longer than most others -- nor do I care -- truth be told.

Sex for Tax Relief

I must be getting old. Gender roles seem to be reversed. Fox News reported that a female Internal Revenue Service Agent has been seeking sex from males by coercing them to have sexual relations with her in exchange for a break on their taxes. There was a time when men were doing that sort of thing, but apparently women are doing that now. 

KVAL News reports that Vincent Burroughs filed the suit with the U.S. District Court in Eugene, Oregon on Jan. 25 "as a result to coercive conduct by Defendant [Dora] Abrahamson," an Internal Revenue Service agent from Cottage Grove.

And here, all these years, the whole concept of "getting screwed" on my taxes meant something completely different. In most cases, men (who are dogs/pigs) would willingly have sexual relations with reasonably attractive women who work for the US Government in exchange for having to pay taxes. Apparently not Vincent Burroughs.

Identity Thief (movie I'm not likely to see)

Melissa McCarthy built her acting career around portraying an overweight, obnoxious woman, but she is usually funny, playing sort of a female version of the late Chris Farley. McCarthy has continued this trend in her new movie, "Identity Thief", which has opened to very critical reviews (average review gives it 37/100 - LINK). I doubt that I'll see it, so if you do, you can leave comments below. I'll wait two months until it's on the "Movie of the Week" re-runs on television if I even think to watch it then.

Film critic, Rex Reed called the film's star, Melissa McCarthy a "tractor" and "hippo". Paul Feig, who directed McCarthy in her Oscar-nominated role in "Bridesmaids," tweeted, "For his catty and school bully name-calling of the supremely talented Melissa McCarthy, I cordially invite Mr. Rex Reed to go f--- himself." Reed, flaming homosexual, reportedly responded, "I would if I could, sweety." And thus the cat fight continues.

Scoville Units

The world of hot peppers is measured in Scoville Units - and you likely don't care, but in this effort of mine to spend the night blogging, I thought that I'd end on the subject of hot sauce. Guinness World Records proclaims that the world’s hottest chile pepper is the Trinidad Scorpion "Butch T," which clocks in at a whopping 1,463,700 Scoville units, nearly 300 times hotter than a jalapeño. It will apparently melt paint almost as fast as Coca Cola will remove tarnish from a penny.

My daughter, Amanda wanted Mexican food for her birthday party. Therefore my tribute is to Dave's Ghost Gourmet Jolokia Pepper, rated "Insane ++" (available on hotsauce.com), rated at a modest 650,000 Scoville Units. That's roughly half as hot as the Trinidad Scorpion chile.

If you're into damaging your mouth and your digestive tract even further, there is CaJohn's Black Mamba Hot Sauce. I can't find a Scoville Unit rating but it's heat level is advertised at XXXX and it comes in two ounce bottles (US$17 per bottle)

--And maybe I can get some sleep now that I've bored even myself to tears.