Wednesday, July 9, 2014

What About a Beard?

It's summer and I am not about to grow a beard in the heat of summer, however, I have been giving some thought to growing a beard.




This is what I look like now, old, white hair, not as dangerous as I once was. And no beard. (lion in winter) You can't grow a beard of any significance when you're in the military because of (1) regulations and (2) it interferes with the dive gear.

Yes, if you're in Afghanistan, you can pull it off. However I was in Afghanistan back before the Russians invaded (before Afghanistan was cool) and didn't grow a beard back then.

Then I worked for the Orange County District Attorney's Office and no beard there either. Then back to USGOV in Mexico, and off hunting MANPADS (Man Portable Air Defense Systems - retrieving Stinger missiles that rag heads and thugs stole) again no beard. 

Now I'm Vice Pres. and Chief Operating Officer of my own company and I can do whatsoever I please including growing a beard. 


Author near USS Cavalla, Sea of Cortez, DDS Op.
I'll put it to the bloggers. What do you think?

Beard/No Beard?


20 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes to the beard. You can always shave if it doesn't suit you!

jenny said...

Totally-- Give it a shot! I agree with Anon. You can always shave it off again. But you're right-- I can't imagine it being comfortable in the summer.
Austin's crawling with bearded hipster guys that think this is the 18th century. I don't know how they can bear it in the Texas heat, but they even hold competitions-- they're hard core about it. (Of course, this contingent also does things like chipping their beverage ice off a large block, just because they think it's cool. At some point, nostalgia starts competing with intelligence...)

WoFat said...

I started growing my beard when I hung up the badge. Still have it. If someone doesn't like it, I don't care.

Euripides said...

Beard! Beard! Beard! Beard! Beard!

LL said...

Beard 4-0 Ok, since Euripides and WoFat are both bearded and they are infinitely cool, their votes matter. Jenny is from Austin, land of bearded men (sort of like Alaska but hot when it comes to beard country) and Anonymous --- who knows from whence they come?

I'll start once the weather gets colder and we'll see how it turns out.

Any preference as to style? Duck Dynasty (the Uncle Si beard), Satan (WoFat style beard), stinger (musician/artist)?

Euripides said...

I've always liked the one on that dude from Hunger Games.

LL said...

Euripides - you mean the President? If I ended up looking like Donald Sutherland, I might be able to land some movie roles... are you suggesting that a star is born?

I could bag my corporate life and live the life of a bohemian actor, move to Malibu, give up the Raptor and buy a Porsche.

However, if I grew a Donald Sutherland beard, I'd look more like Santa Clause and would have to put up with strange kids wanting to sit on my lap in December...so much for the Porsche and beach house in Malibu. The best I could do would be a chalet at the North Pole, tending to reindeer and elves...story of my life.

jenny said...

ha! Plans never go quite like we imagine do they? Must avoid the Santa look, for sure.

Uncle Si seems to be what the austinites are aiming for. You could adopt a new lifestyle with that one, too, if you wanted to be a bohemian hobo musician and live amongst a bunch of brainwashed liberals. (Though I fear the real you might break through every now and then and leave small dead hipsters in your wake.)

WoFat's got a good one-- but just like most hairstyles get tweaked for each girl's face, I would think you'll end up with your own look.

Euripides said...

Actually I was thinking of Seneca Crane's beard, with all the curlicues and designs. It'd be devilishly difficult to maintain, but once achieved would turn you into a veritable god of good looks.

Then you could charm a group of backers into funding your Porsche and Malibu beach house.

LL said...

Jenny - Sadly, I can't do unkempt. There is a dark part of my soul that would like to be shiftless and sloppy but I've been brainwashed to be responsible, organized, bathe regularly, change my clothes and appear well groomed. I couldn't last 2 minutes with an Uncle Si beard, and wouldn't like to taste my soup the day after I ate it.

I tried calling you at 867-5309 to explain it in greater detail but you must have changed your number :^)

Euripides - Part of having short hair and no beard is that the overall maintenance required is small. If I grew an elaborate beard it might require more vanity than I can muster to keep it curled, waxed and died bright red/orange (thinking about your students) in an attempt to reclaim my misspent youth.

Are you beating around the bush that you would like to fund the Porsche and Malibu beach house? If so, I want to keep the Raptor even though it won't play well with the Hollywood crowd if I have a 30-30 in the back window and a big, ugly, dog in the pick-up bed. (dogs tend to look like their owners)

Euripides said...

Well, if that's the case, then I suggest a simple goatee. It is easy to maintain, doesn't itch around the neck, and will still allow you to hang out with your Bohemian friends.

Dang! I was only thinking of giving you the Porsche in the hopes that you'd let go of your Raptor so I have a better chance during the next zombie apocalypse.

WoFat said...

In addition to my beard, I have short hair. It, for some reason, annoys stupid people. I've no idea why.

Wo

jenny said...

All good souls have a shiftless and sloppy side waiting to be noticed. Don't you think it's time? Neglect it too long, and it might one day rear up and eat you altogether. (When that happens, don't come to me cryin' about it. I warned you...)

Brighid said...

You asked,
my response:
Oh Hell No!

jenny said...

LOL -- I think B just settled it. Grow at your own risk!

LL said...

It's not worth Brighid's wrath.

Brighid said...

Geez, guess I forgot to use my soft voice. The gracious older lady thing is harder than it looks...

LL said...

I'm going to shave twice today...just to make sure that I'm on the straight-and-narrow path.

Brighid said...

Is it true what they say about guys that shave twice a day?
Just a sweet older lady's curiosity you understand.

LL said...

I don't need to shave twice a day. Is that good or bad? I have no idea what the buzz is on that either way.

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